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Wednesday, April 28, 2010

So I was just writing....

Ok, so I know mothers day isn't for a few weeks and I know its crazy, but I was sitting here and just started writing and this is what came out.  Don't ask me why.  Maybe too many mothers day ads on FB or something.   Who knows.  But I am going to save it and send/give it to her one day. 

Dear Mother of my Child,
I don’t know your name.  I don’t know where you are from or how you grew up.  I don’t know your dreams, your thoughts, your religious views, or your political stance.  Maybe one day I will know these things…even shake your hand and look into your eyes.  Maybe you will always be a mystery.  What I do know is that I love you.  I love you for your choice, and I love you for your strength.  You carry inside you something so precious, something so fantastically miraculous, that I was not able to do it.  I am in awe of you.  I am in awe of your body, and your ability to do what I was not able to.  I am in awe of your decision to give the child inside you life…even if that means a life without you.

As I write this you may not even be carrying our baby yet.  You might not even know that you are going to face this choice.  For all I know, as I write this, you are sitting in high school science, or out on a date.  For all I know you have no idea what one day our paths will forever be crossed.  Our hearts will forever be joined in one tiny human being.  Our child.  You, the mother who gave him life, and me, the mother who will raise him.

I can’t promise that I will be the best mother in the world.  I can’t even promise that I will do a better job than you would have done.   What I can promise you is that I will love that child as if I had carried him myself.  I will put him first, and give him everything within my power to make sure that he is successful in his life.  I will teach him to look both ways before crossing the street, but I will also teach him to look both ways before making judgment.  I will love him no matter what he decides to do or who he decides to be.  I will teach him to make the right choices, and then I will support him even if he makes the wrong ones.  I will be an open door and a shoulder to cry on.  I will love him no matter his sexual orientation or political views.  I will never lie to him.  I will never make him feel as though he is not welcome, wanted, and loved.

I will tell him about you.  I will tell him about the incredible bravery of the mother who gave him life.  I will tell him how much you loved him, and love him still.  I will tell him that you didn’t give him up, you only handed him up.  Handed him up to a life you couldn’t give him, but that you knew he deserved.  I will do everything in my power to make sure he never feels as though he has no “real” mother, but that he is doubly blessed, because he has two.  I will do my best to make sure that he wasn’t un-wanted, but all the more loved.  You, my child’s other mother, will always be in our home and in our hearts.  You are a member of this family.  As much as this sweet child is.

And so with this mothers day approaching, the first since disease robbed me of the ability you have, I want to say thank you.  Thank you for the choice you will one day make.  Thank you for loving our child.  Thank you for choosing his life and happiness over your own.  I promise that I will always do the same.  So on this day, the one that will forever be harder on you than this one is to me, I want to say Happy Mothers Day to my child’s other mother.
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