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Friday, January 22, 2010

A long over due post....

I haven't written in weeks. I wish I could say it was because I have been so busy or something but really it is just pure lazy on my part. There is so much to say that it is pretty much going to be random and what my composition prof. would call "freewriting." Here goes

They want to do a hyst. FINALLY. I am waiting to hear from the surgeon about when and all that cause we are waiting for paperwork and stuff to go through since we are poor and can't pay out of pocket. I am thrilled and nervous and scared and excited all at the same time. I want my life back. Well, really I want my life AND my uterus but beggers can't be chosers I suppose.

Dan quit is temp job at TaxAct to stay and work from home full time so he can take care of me. The pain is so bad this time that I can't get in and out of the tub or on and off the toilet without help. Let me tell you, it takes a special kind of hubby that will help you stand up from the toilet while still telling you how much he loves you. He is my rock and I have no idea what I would ever do without him. One day he is going to make the most amazing father.

I started spring classes a couple weeks ago and they are all online since I can't drive or walk or pretty much anything anymore. I am liking them ok, and I am actually far ahead in all of them so that when I can actually get in for my surgery than I will be able to focus on getting better and not worrying about things coming up due. That is the plan anyways.

On February first Dan and I are taking our first class to become foster/adoptive parents in the state of Iowa. I am pretty nervous but excited too...because I know after this surgery I will be able to be a good mom and all that. We are still discussing the age group we want to go for, but other than that we are on the page and both UBER excited. We WILL be parents.

other than that there is not much new...I will try to post more often and keep my readers updates...I love you all!~

Tuesday, January 12, 2010


Yaya is a mom!!!!! Please go share in their joy and say congrats!

Sunday, January 3, 2010


I am helping my mother throw my sister a baby shower. I went and got her gifts tonight. I only broke down once and the sales lady asked if I was ok and when I told her "no" she said "is it friend or family?" Like she knew. How could she know?

Dear Lord....
Get me through the next couple months and if ya could....please don't have her go into labor early on my birthday or something...cause that is the newest nightmare. Please bring me peace and a baby.


Saturday, January 2, 2010

Sooooooo this birth control crap???

NOT WORKING. I have given it FIVE periods and THREE months and its not working. I am still bleeding like a stuck pig. I still have to spend the first few days in bed because if I stand up there do I say this? A gushing? A waterfall? Either way you put it its a mess. And the pain is unbearable. Monday the doctor shall get ANOTHER call about my other options. I hate this crap. I hate hate hate it.

Oh yeah, and I still have to go out in public and see everyone and their brother pregnant out to THERE with their three kids they have already covered in dirt and begging for attention from their 15-year-old mother who obviously doesn't give a hoot.

Dear Lord,
Take this pain away and give me peace. Please?

Friday, January 1, 2010

Ah the new year....

Has started with my period. And a Migraine. Yay. And also the start of me getting my faith back...

Dear Lord, forgive me for doubting sometimes, and for not seeing your plan. If you could please show me what it is....and maybe give me some peace this year that would be great.