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Tuesday, February 24, 2009


woo hoo! Jenn interviewed me and if any of you bloggers out there want to be interviewed by me just let me know!

1. If money didn't matter, what would be your dream job?
I would sing. Once upon a time I was really good and got offers that most people would not believe and I screwed them all up because I was, well, stupid when I was younger. I would sing for free.
2. If you could meet anyone who would it be and why?
My brother, Ryan. I always knew about him and when he found us I was beyond excited. That was almost 5 years ago and I have still only spoken with him on the phone and through e-mail, so I would want to meet him and get to know him because from what I do know he is more like me than either of my sisters.
3. What animal would you say best describes your personality?
wow this one is hard! I would say....a turtle lol. Mostly because when I get my feelings hurt or if something scares me even though I want to face it head-on I am usually to scared to do it and I just hide within myself
4. If you could have any superpower, what would it be?
breathing underwater. partly because it would be super-cool, and partly because then my never-ending fear of drowning would be gone.
5. What is your favorite book?
its a little cheesy but its still "Little Women." I have tons of books that I love but that is the one I can always count on for the rainy or painful days to carry me away...which is the point of books, after all!

Six things that make me smile

I was tagged by Sonja!

1-Dan. We have our moments where we argue and want to kill each other (lol) but mostly he is my best friend and my one and only love. Hes really my everything

2-my animals. Sassy is my second best friend in the world and between her and romeo and boy cat and girl cat (and very rarely Juno) I am almost never lonely

3-my friends. online mostly...but they are still more than I could ever ask for and I thank God that he blessed me with women who know what I am going through and who I can lean on.

4-my family. My mom and dad and my sisters are the most awesome ever and I couldn't ask for better!

5-pomegranates. I LOVE them and they are a special treat when I can find a ripe one!

6-books. I don't know what I would do without the worlds that are right there on my shelf. They take me to better and happier places when I need an escape!

Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hannah's Prayer

'O Lord of hosts, if You will indeed look on the affliction of Your maidservant and remember me, and not forget Your maidservant, but will give Your maidservant a male child, then I will give him to the Lord all the days of his life, and no razor shall come upon his head"

I am Hannah. I am barren....and my prayers still go unanswered. When will I get my miracle?

Those with stronger faith than mine may say that maybe I have gotten my answer and its "no." I refuse to accept this. Not yet. I still dream of pregnancy every night and I still wake up and cry because part of me if scared to death it will never actually happen. When do I get MY miracle?

Monday, February 9, 2009

I am lazy...I shall update now

Okay I know I haven't written anything since, well, forever...and so I shall write now.

I saw the new specialists at the University about two weeks ago. Long story short they told me I wasn't getting preggers any time soon and that my best bet was lupron. So I took it. Stupid Stupid Stupid Lupron. I have never hated anything worse than I hate the way I am feeling now. I am having hot flashes and I am bleeding and it just plain sucks sucks.

So yeah, thats the quick update. I would write more about it except that, you know, UGH! If I talk or write or even think about it more than I want to then I just cry. So yeah...although I have been reading lots since all this cause I have no energy to do anything else so my book blog is soon to be updated with all the fun of the books! Peace people!