TEXTAREA_ID
My sister reads this blog. She never comments or asks me about what I write about until something upsets her. She is angry with me right now for my last post-where I talked about finding out that she is pregnant again. Lost story short, I was told to stop writing about her. I told her I would take the post down-but the more I think about it, the more sure I am that I am not going to be censored in order for those around me to feel better about themselves.
She pretty much told me that if this is the way I am going to be, then I can just be fine with not ever seeing my nephew or the other little one on the way. Obviously I am not ok with that-I love my nephew and I will love the next one. I tried to explain to her that I write about my life to deal with it, and if I really didn't care about her as she claims, then the things that happen between us wouldn't bother me. I haven't heard back from her yet-she won't listen to me any other way, so I suppose this is my way of telling her-and the rest of my family who reads this and never mentions it till something is written they aren't happy with-this.
I will not be censored. I write this blog to deal with the problems and issues in my life. I write it to reach out to other people with the same problems and issues. I write it to make friends-the kind of friends who ask me more often how I am doing than all of you put together. I write it to HELP people. I have had more than one person tell me that by reading this blog they are a better person-better prepared to face what is in front of them because they know that I am somehow getting through it.
I write about my life-and all of you are in my life. Things that are said and things that happen between all of us affect my healing process-and if you were to be a little more open to hearing about things face to face-then perhaps I wouldn't have to write so in-depth about my life. If you don't want the things that you do, say, think, feel, share with me to be shared here-THEN DON'T SHARE AT ALL.
This is my outlet-how I deal with things. I come here and reach out to people when I feel like I have nowhere else to turn. The women here don't tell me to deal with it or fight it or move on-they understand. I don't get that anywhere else in my life-therefore I will not be changing what I write about or the way I write about it.
I don't use your names on here out of respect. You asked me not to-therefore I don't. But that is as far as I will go. If you can't understand that then you no longer have to reach out and be a part of my life. That would kill me inside, because I love each and every one of you-but I have to heal in the only ways that I know how. And this works. Writing about it works. If I am given an ultimatum-to stop contact with you or to stop writing-know now that it will be an easy choice and you will not win.
And just so you know, I am writing a book. It probably won't ever really be done and even if it is it may never see the light of day. You are all in it. I have changed your names but I have not changed events or facts. I am writing it to deal-the same reason that I write this blog.
The fact is that I am sick. I will always be sick. I will always deal with that. If you can't deal with that-then you know where the door is.
I will not be censored.
I will be honest.
She pretty much told me that if this is the way I am going to be, then I can just be fine with not ever seeing my nephew or the other little one on the way. Obviously I am not ok with that-I love my nephew and I will love the next one. I tried to explain to her that I write about my life to deal with it, and if I really didn't care about her as she claims, then the things that happen between us wouldn't bother me. I haven't heard back from her yet-she won't listen to me any other way, so I suppose this is my way of telling her-and the rest of my family who reads this and never mentions it till something is written they aren't happy with-this.
I will not be censored. I write this blog to deal with the problems and issues in my life. I write it to reach out to other people with the same problems and issues. I write it to make friends-the kind of friends who ask me more often how I am doing than all of you put together. I write it to HELP people. I have had more than one person tell me that by reading this blog they are a better person-better prepared to face what is in front of them because they know that I am somehow getting through it.
I write about my life-and all of you are in my life. Things that are said and things that happen between all of us affect my healing process-and if you were to be a little more open to hearing about things face to face-then perhaps I wouldn't have to write so in-depth about my life. If you don't want the things that you do, say, think, feel, share with me to be shared here-THEN DON'T SHARE AT ALL.
This is my outlet-how I deal with things. I come here and reach out to people when I feel like I have nowhere else to turn. The women here don't tell me to deal with it or fight it or move on-they understand. I don't get that anywhere else in my life-therefore I will not be changing what I write about or the way I write about it.
I don't use your names on here out of respect. You asked me not to-therefore I don't. But that is as far as I will go. If you can't understand that then you no longer have to reach out and be a part of my life. That would kill me inside, because I love each and every one of you-but I have to heal in the only ways that I know how. And this works. Writing about it works. If I am given an ultimatum-to stop contact with you or to stop writing-know now that it will be an easy choice and you will not win.
And just so you know, I am writing a book. It probably won't ever really be done and even if it is it may never see the light of day. You are all in it. I have changed your names but I have not changed events or facts. I am writing it to deal-the same reason that I write this blog.
The fact is that I am sick. I will always be sick. I will always deal with that. If you can't deal with that-then you know where the door is.
I will not be censored.
I will be honest.
