Here is Autumn....and an update

For once I am about to make good on my promise of posting the next day. I will try to tough on everything that has been happening lately, as I know I have been lacking in my updates.

My pain is slowly but surely getting to be constant again. For almost 6 months I have been able to get through the days without much pain, and I can see now that eventually I will be right back where I was before...constantly in pain. Although I know this is coming, I am hopeful that I will be able to continue to go to school and spend time with my family. This is my hope.

I see my sister often, and even as much as it pains me to see her glowing as she does, I am trying my best to be happy and prepare myself to be the best aunt I can be. When I see little trinkets that I would love for my own child I try to get them for hers. I smile when she shows me her ultrasound pictured and complains about morning sickness, and I keep my tears for Dan and I at home. I cry often for my loss that seems to be her gain. She has everything I have ever wanted, and it pains me so. My only comfort is knowing that even though it has not happened yet, I WILL be a mother one way or another, and I hope that the wait will make it all that sweeter.

School is going better than I thought it would. I am doing my best and it is paying off in good grades. I am hoping the constant pain will not come back before I can get through this semester, and I am currently spending lots of time looking at prospective schools to transfer to. My current first choice is a school in Florida that offers a five year Bachelors/Masters program in Biology. There is still much planning to do before I make a decision, but every day brings me closer to getting my degree and doing something with my life. On a side note I would like to say that even though science is what I choose to study the most of...I HATE CHEMISTRY! I spend most of the time in that class wishing that I was sitting in Biology or even Math, because those I am so much better at.

My furry ones are doing well. Sassy follows me wherever I go and I seldom leave without her beside me. She is one of the few constants in my life, and I love her more than I can put into words. God sent her to me to be my baby until he sees fit to bless me with one of my own. Bandit spends most days outside chasing bugs and laying in the sunshine, and at night he sleeps beside us. He is the best cat in the world (although I am sure Sonja would say otherwise hehe) and I love him.

Other than that there is nothing else of interest happening, and although I am busy with school I hope to update more often, but for now I am off to snuggle with the most handsome man in the world and to love the ones dear to me, for they seem to be all I have these days.