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Friday, April 3, 2009

Sara's rules for commenting...

okay, those of you who are normal followers and frequent supporters, this is not meant for you...this is meant for those who do not know me personally and have never spoken to me except through this blog....

I have endo sisters and close friends that I ask for opinions when I want them. For those of you who only know me because of this blog, you don't really know me. When I want to reach out and ask for other peoples opinions I will do so...until then please leave your uninformed thoughts to you own blog.

Yes, I did drugs when I was younger, and yes, I am aware that is wasn't good for me. Just who the hell do you think you are, telling me what was and wasn't good for me? Trust me when I say that there are plenty of people in my life that make me feel guilty for my past choices, myself included, and I do not need those who have never even spoken to me telling me what they think I should have could have would have done. I am not an idiot and I am well aware. For you to imply that the reason I am in the boat I am in is because of choices I made when I was younger makes you just as ignorant as those who knew me then and think the same thing. Until you are in MY shoes, you have no place to judge.

If I need religious advice I will be sure to ask those who I know and trust. If I choose to believe or not to believe in certain deities that is my choice. Again, there are plenty of people in my real life who thrust their uneducated opinions in my face on a daily basis. My relationship with God is between me and God, and no one else. While I appreciate the prayers you so kindly offered, that is all that is needed. Please keep your opinions on religion and God to those who ask.

I am well aware of the treatment options that are available to me, and I alone will make the choice when and if to pursue those options. You are not my doctor, and you are not one of my trusted friends, so until you are either of those, please offer your thoughts to someone who asked for them. If I choose a particular treatment, even if you think it is stupid, please either be my friend and support me or don't be my friend and don't-but shut up about it. AGAIN, I have plenty of people in my own family that think they know what is best for me and my body, and I don't listen to them, either, except to take their thoughts into consideration. Those thoughts that I use to make my own decision come from those who I trust, not those who have only known about me what I have chosen to share in this blog. If you look at my reasons for starting this blog you will see that I am NOT a doctor, nor do I claim to know any better than one what is best for someone else. I would never come to your blog and disrespect a choice you have made regarding your own treatment, so please give me the same respect.

Please do not send me links to "helpful" website that do nothing but advocate your own opinion. What you chose for your own research is your choice, and I respect that. Please show me the same consideration, and please know that I know PLENTY of site, thank you very much.

This last bit is meant not only for the inconsiderate person whose mean thoughts are no longer in my comment section, but for anyone who comes across this who knows someone who is suffering from infertility......

The LAST thing any of us want or need to hear is that we are young and to stop stressing. That is just mean, uneducated, and disrespectful. If I hear one more time that I should just adopt I am going to SCREAM! I am well aware that that is an option for me, along with the millions of other women in my situation. We are ALL aware of this, and while that may be an option in the future...COULD YOU PLEASE LET US GRIEVE OUR LOSS!!!!!!!! It is not always the loss of future pregnancies we are grieving. While that is at the top of many lists, there are dozens of other things that hurt us just as badly and until you are US (which, by the way, is impossible) you will never know. Things bother me that don't bother friends I have even though we are all suffering the same problems. No two people are the same, and to assume that adoption is an option for everyone is just the same as assuming the best way to quit smoking for one person is the same for all smokers. Please, if you know and/or love someone who is suffering from infertility, please only offer your opinion on family building when you are asked. We do not need to hear about the options.....we are all aware of them.

There are those of you reading this who know this is not directed towards you, and to those...I LOVE YOU TO PIECES! You are my friends...and I don't know what I would do without you.


Jenny H. said...

I just let it go now...I've got enough anger and frustration in my head stemming from my own thoughts...I don't have room or energy to be angry at someone elses thoughts too!

Ignorance is bliss and that's why they're happy! Smart people are usually the saddest/angriest people I know.