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Saturday, May 1, 2010

Saturday Songs #2

"The River"
Written by Garth Brooks and Victoria Shaw
Album-"Ropin' The Wind" and "Double Live"

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry

So there is a video for me to post, but I am writing this from Dans parents house and they have a limit on the internet that can be used per day...those of you who have been following me for more that awhile know this from when I was living here with them.  Stupidz Internetz!

Anyway, this song has always been one of my favorites.  So has Garth Brooks.  His songwriting is just PHENOMENAL, I can't think of one song of his that I don't just really appreciate, if not love.  So here is my take on this one....

The whole "dream is like a river ever changing as it flows" really rings true, doesn't it?  This dream for me to be a mother has changed.  LOTS.  You know when I was a kid I used to tell my mother that I never really wanted children.  Mostly I think I told her that because she used to say to me all the time that she hoped I have a child "JUST LIKE YOU!"
(Let it be known that I think I am pretty alright and would love a kid like me...bring on the challenge!)
Anyway, I got off....

So I never wanted kids, then I kinda wanted kids only not with my ex-husband, and then I really wanted kids, and now I can't have kids.  Still want them.  But my river took another path.  A really rocky, downhill, white water, off limits to those rafters with any sanity path, but still, another path.

"Never knowing whats in store."  Who ever really knows whats in store?  I know that I, for one, have no idea whatsoever.  I don't know if we will adopt from foster care or adopt an infant or just be foster parents the rest of our lives.  At this point I don't even know if I have the energy to have kids at all, ever.  The choice to remain child-free has crossed my mind more than once these days, and it is an option I am exploring, if not yet actually talking it over with Dan yet.

"Each day a constant battle just to stay between the shore."  No shit.  Every single day I am fighting to stay between the shores of this dream.  Every single day I wonder what is going to happen next.  Every single day I think about where I am going and where I have been.  This line rings SO true.

So I don't know where this river is taking me, but I know that I am going to fight like hell to stay between the shores of it, and fight even harder to get to the end of it; where it meets this other river that I will have to navigate.  That river is called parenthood.



There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all.
~Garth Brooks



ps-The "Double Live" CD is AMAZING!
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